Thursday, August 04, 2005

The JFK Assassination (the Jordanian theory)

The assassination of John F. Kennedy, the thirty-fifth President of the United States, took place on Friday, November 22, 1963, in Dallas, Texas, USA at 12:30 PM Central Standard Time (18:30 UTC). Kennedy was fatally wounded by gunshots while riding in a presidential motorcade within Dealey Plaza.
Two official investigations have concluded that Lee Harvey Oswald, an employee of the Texas School Book Depository in Dealey Plaza, was the assassin, with one gov-ernment investigation concluding that Oswald acted alone and another suggesting that he acted with at least one other person. The assassination is still the subject of wide-spread speculation, and has spawned a number of conspiracy theories. ( wikipidia)
For a long time I never knew what to believe, then Oliver Stone came with his own
theory and confused me even more. That is when I turned to Abu Raddi, my high school bus driver and asked him whom he thought killed Kennedy.

Let me put Abu Raddi in context. Abu Raddi’s life revolves around three axis.

1- A constant supply of Dukhan Reem (orange package, with the jumping gazzale) a.k.a cigarettes
2- A non stop tape of “damar” poetry and songs ( mostly khaleeji)
3- Over analyzation of the simplest of issues, and having the solution to any conspiracy out there.

So I knew at that point that the answer is not going to be short, and that I was go-ing to be the last one to leave the bus that day.
Abu Raddi started by making me swear a thousand times that I am not to disclose this information to anyone, as it could change the course of history, no one but him and a few others knew the truth to the assassination, which he proceeded to call a “mistake.”
Abu Raddi’s cousin, Sabe3….had left Jordan years ago and settled in Dallas. He opened up a gas station ( as all Arabs do) and began what was to become a very pros-perous career. His costumers were from the highest ranks in the society, including the mayor of the city, who was a dear friend. Sabe3 being a very generous Jordanian, he would always discount the cents from the total ( although some say this had nothing to do with generosity and more with him being dumb in math) so his relationship with the mayor became real strong.
On the day of the assassination Sabe3’s son, 3attah was due to get married to an American girl. His father had arranged for the biggest wedding 3azimeh in Texas his-tory. Over 200 ciders of mansaf were present for the guests. The plan was to have Kennedy come and greet and bless the groom and the bride. ( that is why there was a change of plan in the route…not due to any other conspiracy)
Sabe3 being very courteous of the mayor and the city’s guest, he asked the mayor if he could have the wedding as a full Jordanian wedding, marinating the customs and tradi-tions. The mayor had no objection….and gave Sabe3 a carte blanche.
Little did he know about Jordanian weddings, two minutes into the zaffeh Sabe3’s sixth son Rabee3 ( who was 12 at that time) pulled out a hunting rifle and fired 3 shots into the air, the women started to unleash the fury of their tongues…loooooloooleeesh, the men started the d7ieh and the bride’s family were all under the table crying for their life.
At that same moment , Kennedy’s motorcade was at Dealy Plaza, and as you know…if a bullet goes up…it must go down…..well….Abu Raddi stoped at this point and looked at me with a straight face and said “ La tjeeb seereh la nass…Ibn ibn 3ammi ga-tal Kennedy…bas wallahi ma kan gassed”

Thus we conclude that what was behind Kennedy’s death was a Jordanian youth who enjoyed shooting in weddings.

The moral of the story is that shooting in weddings can be deadly.

Jamil…3ogbal ma titjawaz oo atukh f3orsak.

*The pictures attached are of a drawing that Abu Raddi sketched showing what happend
The other one is the parents of the bride "ghazeen " bil mansaf


Blogger Linda said...

OMG LAith, am laughing so hard and am afraid im gonna wake up the family.

This is too funny. I cant wait to share it with the family.

(im still laughing)

as for that picture of people eating mensaf, ive seen it somewhere on the web when i was reaserching jordan and mensaf ;)

so, did the american girl still mary the jordanian guy and his family?

and just to remind you, when saying gas station in the American/Jordanian accent, you must pronounce it "Gas-es-Station" emphasize the "es" sound ;) I know, my dad was a former gas-es-station owner.

So, does Abu Raddi have a story about how bush really won the election?

9:18 AM  
Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very funny story...but why propagate the stereotype of all Arabs opening/owning gas stations.

4:19 PM  
Anonymous Maha said...

LOL That was HiLarious

BTW u've got fans

9:11 PM  

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